Frustration and Other Words

Before I get started I would like to thank everyone for all of your great comments and feedback on this blog. It really means a lot to me, and if I can help you all out I am more than happy to do it. If any of you has any questions about diet or CrossFit… or life, email, Facebook, call, or post it. Thanks again everyone!

Last week I wrote about Regionals and how awesome it would be. I also noted that if you went you would very likely find it a motivating experience, and that I had forgone writing about frustration to encourage you to attend Regionals. I AM SO GLAD I WAITED. I attended the SoCal Regionals all day Friday and Saturday. It was a blast checking out the vendors, getting free samples, synthesizing Vitamin D and, most importantly, watching all of the incredible events.

I knew that I would be pumped up and ready to hit the box after being there, but I didn’t realize how quick that would set in. I thought by the end of the week I would have a nice little boost that would get me through the Games. Just enough to give me something to shoot for. I was WAY wrong. The very moment I looked over the barricade and into the competition square I tensed up. My teeth clenched and I could only think one thing, “I can do that.”  The more I watched, the worse it got. “I can do that,” turned into, “I should be doing that… NOW!”. For two days.

If you were hanging out with me you definitely heard about it (I don’t keep things inside), and thanks for hearing me out. But it ate at me then and it still is this very moment. This is the part where I’m supposed to segue into my discussion on frustration, but frustration is only a part of what I’m feeling. Before I go any further I think it’s important that we all understand the importance of language. This is what I’m talking about (1:32 - 3:00... or 5:00) (or finish the whole thing... just try to finish reading after please):

(Caution: NSFW language)

If I use the word “frustrated” I think some sort of image will come to mind, like when your crappy computer starts to freeze up on you, and seriously all you wanted to do was check your damn email. That is frustrating. I’m frustrated, yeah… but here are some other adjectives I would more readily use to describe just how I feel: disappointed, discouraged, angry, shameful, saddened, and resentful. That’s a whole lot of negative, I know. And that’s the mood I’ve been in. I work hard and expect a certain outcome. I know that a lot of people consider me to be a pretty good CrossFitter, and it’s not that I’m unhappy with that. I’m (all of those words above) because I know where I want to be, and I’m just not there yet. It’s kind of like that feeling you get when you see someone you know doesn’t diet that hard or workout that much, and they take of their shirt and KAPOW 36 abs hit you in the face. Seriously, you people annoy me.

So this is where “frustration” meets motivation. I had to, with the help of some very key people in my life, dig myself out of that hole. I know everyone has experienced some version of it. But this is where toughness comes in. What do you do when you’re out, and back to “normal”? As I see it you have two options: 1) Stop putting that much effort in or quit all together, that way you don’t have to feel like that anymore, or ; 2) Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and go like hell. Because what’s worse? Am I going to get to that point again, where I’m all out of sorts and I don’t feel like training/diet/life choices are paying off? You bet your ass I am. And I’ll do it all over again, until I get it right. It’s a continuous cycle that makes you better in the long run, regardless of how crappy it can be. In short – “FRUSTRATION” IS A GOOD THING!!!

So, for all of you out there who feel the same way about anything – Just keep going. Keep learning, keep trying, keep improving. And when someone tells you to stop being so hard on yourself, tell them you can’t. You’ve got goals to achieve.


P.S. - Shout out to all of my CrossFit Lincoln family competing this weekend. I wish I could be there, but you guys are going to kill it. I miss you all, now go and get it done!